Reflecting on my experiences over the years, as someone from an ordinary family, the biggest disadvantage isn’t the economic gap, but the lack of reliable guidance in growth—the absence of knowledge and experience. Many crucial matters require figuring things out on my own, through trial and error. Sometimes, after much effort, the conclusions I reach are just self-assumed “obvious truths.”
Books were one of the few reliable resources, but unfortunately, I often struggled to discern the accuracy and practical value of the information. On one hand, lacking deep understanding, I mechanically memorized and imitated, failing to transform it into problem-solving skills; on the other, some knowledge has become outdated with time, yet I treated it as a lifelong guide, mistakenly applying it to current situations.
Compared to those from privileged backgrounds, my parents or elders, limited by their knowledge and experience, couldn’t offer forward-thinking advice or strategies. Their guidance was inevitably constrained or even misguided. This lack of direction meant I had to navigate key life decisions alone—from academic choices to career paths, from handling relationships to long-term planning—all through trial and error. And the cost of trial and error is often paid with youth and opportunities. Once important milestones are missed, there’s no turning back.
The hidden dangers in growth come from those with ulterior motives who mislead us. They often claim to be “veterans,” using their so-called experiences to guide us, unaware that these “advice” are filled with opportunism and short-sighted thinking. For example, workplace “hacks” or office politics from superiors. More lamentably, sometimes even family members unintentionally become part of this misleading—out of care, but limited by their perspective and experience, they pass on outdated or even wrong ideas. These seemingly “smart” guidances exploit our inexperience, implanting flawed logic. As a result, we waste precious time learning and practicing wrong mindsets, even derailing key decisions due to misguidance. Only when we snap out of it do we realize the heavy price paid.
On the path of growth, I’ve made several major mistakes. But fortunately, at several crossroads in life, I seemed to make the right choices. At the same time, I learned to extract lessons from failures. Each mistake is a reminder to reassess my own judgment. No longer blindly trusting external voices, but actively verifying and filtering information, clarifying my values through constant trial and adjustment, planning the future with a broader vision and rationality, not confined to immediate gains and losses. One’s background can’t be chosen, but the path ahead is always in one’s own hands.